Oh what I wouldn’t give for someone who would fiddle with my hands just because he can. That effortless symmetry with a body other than your own, that love that transcends itself from every move, every touch, every kiss, an expression worth more than words ever could. To look at me and know what I am thinking right at that moment - that innate ability of being able to know exactly how I feel just because. And those strangely comforting hugs that absorb every single bit of energy in me. The way he can make me smile without even trying, the way he looks into my eyes, relaying a silent “I love you” with just a look. The kisses that come at the most unexpected time, and when asked why he answers in a matter of fact tone like it’s already given. He kisses you because he just can’t help it. For him, you are more important than even his own life, all the while wondering how he ever survived for so long without you. To find a guy that makes you feel special because he loves you for you, making you remember how it feels to love, be loved, and actually be worthy of that love. But random thoughts like this would not guarantee me someone to cuddle with, to be mushy with, just to be with. It would just frustrate me more so for someone like that, I let go. Whenever you lack confidence, fake it. Feign until you feel that belief in yourself get back into you. But I have been fooling everybody for far too long I can’t seem to keep the façade going without giving out some cracks here and there.
